Potty training is a significant milestone in both a child’s and a parent’s journey and it is something that requires thoughtful preparation.

To prepare, it’s important the child understands what is happening and the parent has an idea of what to expect. You can go down a rabbit hole when trying to find information about potty learning and quickly become very overwhelmed with the process. My advice is to keep it simple & to go by what your child is doing. Avoid comparing to other children.

Each child is different and so too will be their toileting journey.

I would recommend to firstly look at what your child is doing at the moment in their disposable nappy/pull up.

At around 18 months of age the child’s bladder will start to mature and be able to hold on to wee for longer periods of time. So, this will translate to longer periods of dry nappies during the day. You can check this by doing what’s called the ‘kitchen roll’ test. Simply fold up a couple of sheets of kitchen roll and pop these into their dry nappy and then check this kitchen paper every 20-30 mins. The reason you don’t just check the disposable nappy/pull up is because these are typically very absorbent, so you won’t get a true reflection of what’s happening. Do this a few times in the day to see what their pattern is like. Be sure to change the nappy/pull up as soon as you feel the wetness as the wet kitchen paper against the skin can cause irritation if left for too long. What you should start seeing is that they will be dry for a period of about 1.5 - 2 hours.

Now, keep an eye on what they do when they need to poo? Are they pooing at the same time every day? What does the poo look like? Is there any straining or pain associated with pooing? Do they stand or squat? Do they look for privacy? Do they say when they need to poo or when it’s done? Do they simple go quiet for a brief period and then you get the aroma?

Knowing your child’s usual poo pattern can be a great way to identify constipation early on but also, we can use this information when potty training as you will be able to encourage a sit on the potty around their usual time of pooing. If your little one is constipated, then do get them checked out by the doctor. The recommended first line in treatment for idiopathic constipation is the use of an osmotic laxative.

 

When we are looking at what they are weeing and pooing it’s important too that we are looking at what they are drinking and eating.

Do a simple exercise of measuring out what they are drinking for a day or two and sum it up. Many parents when asked to do this often say they thought their child was drinking way more than they are. The HSE recommends a child drinks between 6-8 glasses of water-based drinks a day. Each child will have different requirements, but you can check if your child is well hydrated by looking at their wee. Typically, the first wee of the day will be more concentrated and then it should clear out as they drink throughout the day.

Also, a good gauge is looking at their poo- if it’s dry and cracked they may not be getting enough to drink.

Why is it important to check this before training? Well, if they aren’t drinking enough then wee can become concentrated and concentrated wee can irritate the bladder and they may become reluctant to sit and let the wee out on the potty.

Same goes for the poo- if poo is hard and painful to pass then it will be more difficult for the child to poo on the potty.

 

Some children will start showing interest in the potty by following you to the loo and wanting to see inside the loo. They may start pulling at their nappy/pull up when they have done a wee or poo and they may feel uncomfortable in it. They may say they don’t want a nappy anymore. But for some children you may never see any signs that they want to use the potty.

 

It is important to understand that it can be more difficult (but not impossible) to toilet train a child when they are older.

The most common age is around 2 and a half to 3. This age has increased over time.

Typically, children were around 18-24 months when they were being trained. It has become socially normal to hold off but sometimes we can miss opportunities to start due to life being too busy or thinking that it’s ok to just leave it until we need to get it done- the biggest instigator is starting ECCE around the age of 3.

Don’t leave it until such a time that you are under pressure ‘to get it done’. This can prove very stressful for everyone!

 

We can promote readiness by doing a few simple things:

• Changing the nappy/pull up standing up in the bathroom and popping the poo down the loo and talking about where it goes.
• Explaining what we feel when we need to wee and poo & inviting them to come to the bathroom with you.
• Changing their nappy/pull up as soon as they wee or poo and give some nappy free time so they can experience what it’s like to be nappy free.
• Put on some underwear for a few minutes a day to get the feeling of underwear on their skin.
• Read some children’s books about toileting. There are loads available - maybe pick one that has a cartoon character or some point of interest in it to get their attention.
• Do some role play with teddy- get your little one to put undies on their teddy and sit them on a little potty.
• Allow them to sit on the loo with the lid down when you are brushing your teeth so they get used to the space and the feel of sitting there.

If you are interested in learning all you need to know about potty training and also about constipation, then follow @pooandtheloo

My name is Ann Costigan, and I am a qualified and registered Paediatric Nurse since 1998. I am also a Mum to 3 children. From 2010 - 2024 I have worked exclusively with babies and children with bowel problems as a Colorectal Nurse Specialist. I set this page up to spread the word on childhood constipation, to make it a bit easier to understand and to provide information on toilet training! Constipation in children is common and unfortunately not that easily recognised.

I also provide education to health care professionals and established Children’s Continence Ireland (CCI) in 2015.

 

I offer group zoom sessions on Toilet Training which comes with a unique weekly closed group Q&A session on zoom for ongoing support. I also offer 1:1 consultations.